faith. thoughts. ramblings.

Just some thoughts on my faith I want to put down.

* My relationship with God is radically different now than it was two years ago.  I want to say that God has changed, but that’s not what I know to be true.  I have changed. The God that my brain could conceive has changed.

* The older I get, the less I know anything about God.

* Christianity as a whole scares me.  It’s the impact of individuals that affect me in a positive light toward the church, not the assembly as a whole. There’s so much hate.

* I can’t judge.

* I’ve learned that I am very scarred and sensitive. I know that there are a lot of people at my last place that would consider it to be weakness. The last place damaged me. It did.  I don’t care if I’m considered weak.  I still walk into churches that remind me of a “show” and I still cry. Is that bad? Or does it mean that I still feel?

* I have to believe that God gave me that sensitivity for a reason. I am not the most empathetic/sympathetic person I know, but I know that I like to listen and I pass no judgment. Isn’t that what we’re “supposed” to do? Use what God gave you?

* I’m glad God is patient.  I have a heck of a long way to go.

* I don’t know why God allows bad things to happen to people.  I can’t hear a story of struggle and not feel it deep in my bones.

* I feel like I’m somewhere in the middle.  Where am I supposed to belong?

* I have less answers now than ever.

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2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Kristen McCarty on February 24, 2011 at 9:10 pm

    I love this so much, April.

    Reply

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