I am an obsessive person.  I can’t let go of things.  If the house is messy, I can’t rest until it is clean.  If someone tells me I can’t say or do something, I will burst unless I do whatever it is. If an issue weighs on my heart, I cannot think of anything else.

This personality does not lend itself well in issues of low self-esteem.  Let me expand on that – it will lend itself well if my mind is set on the positive.  This personality generally swings me from confidence to a funk.  I am very rarely in neutral.

I’ve been wanting to do certain things for a time:

write a book
take photography classes/become a better photographer
work from home (so I can make money while staying at home raising my children)
become a better blogger
feel more confident in what I am interested in
**do things for myself and my family and not be so concerned with what other people think**

I am going to try to lend my obsessive personality towards these things.  I’m not going to worry about whether or not I seem to be a conformist, a narcissist, or a generic.  (Yes, I mean generic, not geriatric.) I am talented. I am worth the effort.  People won’t love me if I can’t learn to love myself.

I hope you can begin to see my efforts.  I hope to be encouraged and called-out if I am not living up to this.

I know that the “funk” won’t always go away.  I know I will still struggle with self-esteem, but I hope to minimize it in such a way that my daughter won’t adopt the same self-depreciating habits her mother has.  I want her to see and know that she can do ANYTHING she puts her mind to.

Does anyone else struggle with this?


2 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Gina on September 8, 2010 at 11:07 am

    I wasn’t going to respond because I thought “What could I possibly have to say that she will want to read?” So, yes it is a daily struggle for me. I’ve tried to tell my kids the same thing. Has it worked? You can be the judge of that better than I can probably. The thing is, our kids turn out OK despite their mom’s hang-ups! Thank God for that!


  2. I struggle with it all the time. I have a tendency to turn things inward, so that when I see someone is liked by the people I admire, I don’t get jealous, but instead start beating myself up because of all the things that person is that I am not. I do believe in constant self-improvement, but sometimes I tend to get a little too obsessive about it and realize that I’m not necessarily doing these things for me, but to win the approval of others.


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