Failure.

Just a random thought–

I think it’s safe to say that almost all mamas rejoice when their child succeeds. We wait with baited breath for our children to hit their milestones. We cheer when they sleep through the night or learn to laugh.

My child is perfect.  She is beautiful and funny.  I love her.  She is also a glorified blob right now.  She has no desire to roll over.  She wants to, but can’t sit up yet. She’s more “verbal” than “kinetic” and she’s a serious kid.  She’s not a huge laugher.  She’s a little behind the curve than kids her own age.

She’s also only 4 1/2 months old.

But I confess– I worry sometimes.  I worry if I am teaching her wrong.  Am I missing some essential game to teach her?  Does she not get enough tummy time? What am I missing? In the back of my mind I hope I’m not failing her in some way.  Because we as women silently compare ourselves as mommies.

Maybe it’s best that I’m learning this way.  I am learning now that all I can do is my best and let my kid do things at her own pace.  If I had a kid that was doing everything advanced, I’d be tempted to think that I was a contributor in some way.  I’d brag on my child, thinking, “I’m not too bad at this motherhood thing.”

Because, let’s face it, we all rate our success based on our child’s progress.  I’m not saying it’s right, but it happens.  Those who have children who have struggled bit know exactly what I’m saying.

I’m trying to learn this lesson now.   I am not a bad mom.  I am not a failure.  I have a healthy and happy girl.  She will learn on her own, and I will do my best to help her.

Does anyone else struggle with the comparing issue?

Advertisements

4 responses to this post.

  1. So true! I struggle with this all. the. time. Avery took a long time to laugh for real (she used to just snort, ha!), and she was slower to crawl and walk. But boy, can that girl talk! And even still, when I say that she was slower to do those things, she was still within the realm of normal, according to doctors. It just wasn’t as soon as I would’ve liked. Why am I in such a hurry for her to grow up? I have no idea because she’s doing it way too quickly, and I think I’d like her to slow down now.

    Reply

  2. Absolutely…Kati Ann didn’t crawl until 10 months and didn’t walk until 16 months…she was well over 3 years old before she was potty-trained. However, she’s a really sharp little girl…she just reached some of these milestones at her own pace. I’ve discovered that her personality is all about doing things at her own pace!! I’m not saying to not worry about it completely but don’t worry about it until your doctor says to. Kids do things at very different times and unless your doctor is concerned just enjoy the fact that you have a sweet baby that will be a big girl before you turn around!

    Reply

  3. Posted by Victoria Awbrey on August 19, 2010 at 10:10 pm

    I know how you feel…but in reverse. Samuel is RIDICULOUS for an almost 4 month old. He has two teeth, rolls over at will, laughs like a fool, and can almost sit up. I look at him and am proud, but at the same time, I’m saddened. He never acted like a regular baby in my opinion. Time is slipping away SO fast, and I can’t seem to keep up. I almost feel like I need to hold him back or something silly like that. Truth is, we’ve started him on rice cereal already. He was always grabbing at our food and trying to (and sometimes successfully) drink out of our glasses. I never got to cradle him in my arms like a tiny sleeping infant. He always wanted to sit up and be a part of the action. I missed a lot of those sweet little baby moments, because he never acted like a newborn and grew up so fast. I’m not saying all of this to brag. Don’t get me wrong. I thought you might find it comforting to know that it can be just as frustrating to hold a crying, teething 3 1/2 month old who has no clue why he’s hurting as it is to snuggle your sweet girl who is doing things in her own time. I guess this is just one of the ways God makes each one of us different. Our babies are so wonderfully unique!

    Reply

    • Posted by April McGrew on August 20, 2010 at 7:49 am

      Victoria-

      Thank you for writing this. I don’t know if I realized the other side of things. I know God knows what He’s doing… I just wish I could have an inkling of what He’s up to! Maybe next time we come into LGV, you can cuddle my blob and I can play with your little man!

      Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: