Why I need this.

I know it’s been a while since I have written. Truth is, I haven’t had the time to eat a decent meal, let alone categorize my thoughts.  I just had to get this out, so I shamelessly stuck my kid in her swing to take a minute for myself.

I’ve been thinking about why I write lately.  I know that blogs in general are fairly narcissistic.  Come on, we write about ourselves with the vain hope that someone else is interested in what we have to say.  I hope people are interested in me, as I am interested in them.  I don’t necessarily want to go to my friends’ blog to read a 3-part academic essay on the benefits of toilet paper.  On another note, if they are too self-indulgent consistently, I lose my interest.  I spend a good part of my day either Twittering or Facebooking or something similar.  It’s almost always on my iPod because I can’t actually be on the internet most of the time.

I write because I am talking to you.  You are my friend, and I am an open book.  I am more than just a mother. I’m still April.  As a child I would write and write in my journals, making up stories and pretending to be whoever I want to be.  Writing is freeing.  It’s not about a formula. I’ve picked up my journal again, relishing the feeling of the pen against paper, filling up page after page.

I have found through the years that I NEED to share my heart.  Some people are very good at keeping things in and treasuring things silently.  For them, sharing everything is a foreign, wrong thing. I have tried to be that person to please people.  While I don’t share everything I used to, I find to not share is to tell me not to breathe.  Every post, every tweet, is me sharing with my dear friends.  It’s baring my heart, piece by piece.

So I write. To you. Whether or not you hear me. I pretend you do. I pretend we’re two friends, chatting over coffee.

And I need you.

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5 responses to this post.

  1. One of my favorite things about blogging is that feeling of closeness I feel with my friends through it. Most of my friends have quit by now, and I still find myself really missing their written thoughts. But I am glad you’re still writing, as I do very much enjoy reading your blog. You have a very sweet soul, and it shows in all your social networking.

    =)

    Reply

  2. I feel you. The only exception is I write because no one wants to hear it but I still need to say it. It’s my way of venting. I don’t have the personality or the want to keep it all in. It suffocates me so I get how you feel. So keep writing girl. It helps those who love you know you better. 🙂

    Reply

  3. I write for the purpose of keeping a record of what life was like when my kids were growing up so one day they can look back and see pictures and read my thoughts about what was going on. I don’t scrapbook or keep a baby book or a photo album so this is the closest thing I’ve got. Not to mention all of our family is TX and we’re in AL it gives them a peek into our lives. I absolutely LOVE to blog…I’m constantly thinking “this is a memory I want to capture” and so I get to through my blog.

    Reply

  4. Posted by Lisa Pryor on July 7, 2010 at 11:59 am

    Just followed your link from FB. Love the blogging!
    A few years back, in my office, you shared a dream of someday writing a book. It’s obvious in finally reading your writings, simply blogging, that you need to pursue that dream. Simple yet vivid, your words left me wanting to read more.
    I started at the bottom and worked my way up, NOT expecting to want to read the next, then the next, then the next but drawn to do so. Maybe it’s because I could hear your voice and see the expressions on your face….as I had been able to do so often before across a desk. Maybe because I could so understand being a fellow mother. Maybe because I understand what it’s like to minister to children or because I have wanted to pinch the head off of some idiotic nosy stranger. Or maybe it was God prompting me to give you advise and encouragement from across the miles since I miss it being just across my desk.
    You’re a great mom. I don’t have to be around you to know that. I know your heart. These are the years you will look back on and see God’s hand through it all. These are the events that you will laugh about as you tell your children how God had seen you through… as you encourage them in their walk.
    Every day is a memory. Good or bad, they make up life. And life is what God has not only blessed us with but walks through with us.
    May God show you His blessings, mercy, comfort, help, strength and yes, even His sense of humor every day.
    Love you and Miss you!

    Reply

    • Posted by April McGrew on July 10, 2010 at 10:51 am

      Thank you Lisa. You are really inspiring me. I’m thinking about my book more now than I have in a long time.

      Reply

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