I miss…

God.

Sounds crazy, I know.  I miss our closeness.  I miss feeling connected.  Sometimes I feel like a cheap imitation of myself.  I really wish I could snap my fingers and be exactly where everyone else says I should be, but it’s not that easy.  I know I’ll get back there one day.  I have had a lot of great mentors in my life give up the pursuit entirely, and are now completely atheistic.  That’s a hard thought for me to reconcile.  Part of me wonders if I’m supposed to do that as well because they are some of the most amazing and intelligent people I know. For them to give this up, when they were people I looked up to, makes me wonder if I’m too ignorant to see what they see.  Should I turn away due to all the pain?

I can’t.  I simply can’t.  I have problems with church. I have problems with pastors. I have problems with hypocrisy.

Through this all, I still love Jesus.

I just miss him.

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One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Michael Awbrey on February 26, 2010 at 8:39 pm

    Maybe Jesus is hanging out down at the church, with the pastors and hypocrites?

    Reply

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